It's not easy breaking up with someone after been part of their lives for so long. Worse when it is not amicable. It brings some nasty, negative feelings and almost like you've gone into free fall....the cord has been cut.
But as I am sure you are experiencing....alcohol makes those feelings a million times worse, taking your energy and self-worth and making the situation seem insurmountable.
That been said, it can also be a great catalyst to quit alcohol for good. You know if you drink, it's going to bring you back to those negative feelings. That's the negative association. You don't want that. You deserve better.
You wrote here, so there is fight left in you!