Hello, and welcome.
I had some occasions that led me to fall off the wagon and drink myself into oblivion, too.
Alcohol never solved any of those things in my life. I thought it did while I was bingeing on it, but then came the next day and all of the fear and anxiety that goes along with it. Laid up in bed thinking of my problems and realizing that alcohol had only made things worse.
I understand where you're coming from and you've found a great place to share your thoughts.
Best to you.