Originally Posted by
HopefulMatt 
It's not the kind of relationship I want. I'll be in a position to see the potential for change after I discuss the issue with her and see her response, both in words and in actions.
Matt, this word is always scary to me. So many of us here hung on for way too long, wasting time, opportunities and emotional and physical energy, b/c we felt our A had so much "potential."
Her
potential for change means little. What counts is the
actual change, what she actually
does, not what she
may do or
try to do or
says she'll do or will
think about doing.
Bear in mind also that a year of solid recovery is considered a bare minimum for re-starting a relationship.
I do wish you the best, just want to warn you to please be careful not to get sucked into a lot of wishful thinking and hoping for the best--you need to use your head now, not your heart.