Ok you say you are open to advice so here's some.
1Go to your doctor and level with him/her about how long and how much you have been drinking and about your past attempts to quit.
2ASAP go to an AA meeting. Stay COMPLETELY open minded about what you hear. Look for similarities to your own experiences. If you get a chance, and as soon as possible after you arrive, tell people it is your first meeting.
3If the sadness seems overwhelming (or perhaps, even if it doesn't) get an evaluation by a mental health professional to rule out depression.
4Point my post out to your wife. Make her read it and then tell her to read the one above by you where you state “Something just feels different this time. Maybe in the past I knew I wasn't being honest with myself “.
You can do it. However, I believe it's typically best to get some help.