Luckily, our present and future happiness in life is not dependent upon someone from our past fixing us, or even apologizing. It's dependent upon us picking up our life and moving forward.
I had a seriously messed up childhood too. That's never going to change, but I don't have to have a messed up life because of it. I may 'walk with a limp', but it doesn't keep me from going places.
You can do it to.
I agree with others above who said it doesn't sound like "amends" time yet. It takes some time and understanding before we can recognize where an amends is needed and what an actual amends is.
Take some time to read here on the NA 12 step forum and the AA 12 step forum on how the steps are done. It would be great if you get a sponsor, even if it's an online sponsor to help you with this.
I'm glad you are here.