As already said by others who's opinions I've come to trust on SR, hold off on the 8th and 9th steps. Having a desire in early sobriety to even consider those steps is actually and awesome place to be. Most people feel as you do, yet many don't even want to consider ever doing most of the stuff suggested in the steps.
AA and the 12 steps heal, quite miraculously in my experience, yet it takes time and a little bit of effort. There is no doubt that people hurt you. People have done absolutely unforgiveable things to me. It took me a long time though to become willing to forgive and let that stuff go. But I eventually began to heal. People I thought I'd never forgive, who I hated for a long long time, I found 5 years into sobriety weren't even a blip on my resentment radar. The resentments and anger were literally lifted out of me, but it took an open mind and willingness on my part. Willingness that the 12 steps would change my life. And a mind open enough to take direction from the people around me.
If I were you I'd dive into meetings, find myself a sponsor I could relate to, and get involved in the first 3 steps. I felt fortunate that I came into AA with a belief in a HP (which wasn't a traditional god by the way), that I was willing to pray to. With only a little bit of faith that the prayer
might actually do something, things started to change. I trusted I would be led to the right people and right experiences, and I'm quite certain 29 sober years later that I was. I had no real white light experiences, but over time I became a completely different person than the person who first walked into the rooms of AA.
Cut yourself some slack. It's totally ok and normal to feel all that you're feeling right now. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and trust that things will change and get better, they will. And don't pick up a drink, no matter what goes down or how you feel.
Wishin you the best.