Amends
A step of recovery is making amends to the people you've hurt by addictive behaviour and using.
I'm kinda stuck here:
- in the last ten years ive moved ten times, i had several social media accounts plus ive deleted them all again and again. I dont know were to begin i lost all former contacts in my life. Loosing these actually helped me to get clean and stay clean.
- the more i learn about myself the more i come to the conclusion my addictions come from emotional abuse from childhood/teenage years. I was/am damaged and i subconsiously acted from that dark place in my mind. Why should i stop the chain of hurt and not my parents who damaged me? They will rather die then ever fix me. Can the chain of hurt be fixed by me even if the persons before me dont fix themselves?
I feel angry, very angry. Maybe im victimizing myself but i wasnt born this messed up, in the beginning i was just fine. I was MADE this way and from there i started my own chain of misery and pain...