Attitude
Attitude
So Much Depends On It
~By BuddyT
One thing I had plenty of before Al-Anon was attitude! I hate to admit it today, but my attitude really sucked. I was bitter, angry, resentful, and had big chip on my shoulder.
My "favorite" attitude was one of self-righteousness. I hammered the alcoholic in my life with my judgmental attitude. I would tie her to the moral whipping post. (What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." did you misunderstand?) I used her shortcomings and defects to try to manipulate her... to try to keep her "in line".
Then I came into Al-Anon, which forced me to look at all of the things that I had done to contribute to the problem in my family. I read the brochure, "What do you do about the Alcoholic's drinking?" It was a list of all the things that you could do "wrong" trying to deal with the alcoholic's drinking. I didn't realize those things were mistakes, but I had done most of them at one time or another.
True Perspective
Also, I found out she had a disease... that was in control of her life. She really didn't have a choice about drinking and it affected her behavior and thinking in so many ways.
I discovered that although I could choose to drink or not I had been affected by the same disease as she was in so many ways. I acted just as "alcoholically" as the alcoholic. So who was I to judge or criticize someone else?
As it says in the Al-Anon suggested opening, "So much depends on our own attitudes..." I have found that to be true for me. When I truly began to look at it as a disease, that the alcoholic couldn't help and I couldn't cure, it really did put things in its true perspective and lost its power to dominate my thoughts and my life.