Abelle, thank you for the update. I think one thing that stands out is you want to be wanted. I think that is something we all want. So when you say "I want him to go and my life to be free of worry. And I want him to try and make me stay" it makes perfect sense. You want him to go because in your head you know it is best but you want him to try and make you stay because it will make you feel wanted and validated.
I learned awhile ago that we cannot make someone like us and we cannot change the person they are. Sometimes in our minds we hold this fantasy of what we want them to be and when they show us over and over that they are not that person it is very hard to accept and it can take many red flags and many hurtful incidents to finally see who they really are. Maybe he is a narcissist, who knows? What is most important is you take care of yourself and do what is best for you and DONT LOOK BACK. Once you stop focusing on his behavior and start focusing on yours and your recovery, you will heal much quicker! I wish you the best.