Insaneshame and Spiderqueen - my thoughts exactly. I want to see how the convo goes and observe the actions that follow. Actions are louder than words.
EnglishGarden - no, I'm not sure. I would guess borderline. She can go for a few weeks drinking moderately with no destructive behavior and remain GF #1 during those times. Then comes the binge and GF #2. If we are home, usually things are fine but she can be easily agitated in that state. She has lashed out at me a couple of times and has done the same to family over the phone.
If we are out at one of those crazy bars where anything goes, the clothes start to fall off as she is a big show-off. I don't mind that in moderation (and it happens in moderation when she is sober, too), but during binges, it has gone over the line to the point that people around me ask if I really put up with that, and on more than a couple of occasions. This can happen at a home party as well. She tends to push it just short of the point where she gets kicked out.
This is the part that will be the most difficult to discuss, since she is kind of a free spirit and the moderate version of this is part of her sober persona. On the good side, we have discussed this once in the past. Without prompting, she described a point at which this behavior became disrespectful (a boundary) and I agree with it as a boundary.
I'm glad I came here and took the time to write this. It prompted me to remember that previous convo with her. I'm going to mention that boundary during our discussion, since it was hers to begin with.
Binges while out can also result in arguments with other people if someone pushes the wrong button.
The day after the binge, if apologies are in order, she makes them. Sometimes there a delay if she blacked out - but she tends to slowly remember as the day progresses. So far, she has not owed me a bunch and most have had to go to family and other acquaintances. Then, she'll avoid drinking for about a week, then start back up moderately for a while.
Stupid (and perhaps manic or hypomanic) behavior with no social restraint for sure. Beyond that, I don't know.
I've started off light while discussing the latest blowup she had with a couple of her family members. I said "I feel bad that you have to go through this" in an attempt to show the I notice and I care. I did not get a response to that, but I have laid the groundwork for a discussion. She did admit to drinking 3 bottles of wine in an attempt to offset too much caffeine earlier in the day and realized that consumption like that is a problem.
I want to tread lightly because she has issues with people being controlling. On the other hand, I once mentioned that it hurts me when she brings up a certain subject. Her reply to that was "OMG, I talk about that a lot. I didn't know it bothered you. I'm so sorry - I'll avoid it". She's kept her word on that one - even when hammered. I'm hopeful that I have similar success with these other issues.