Insaneshame - thanks for the welcome!
Perhaps I am lucky that I recognize the need for change fairly early on in this. In fact, there were red flags from the beginning.
On the other hand, perhaps I'm stupid. I've gone down this road before, including professional counseling. The good thing is, I am better prepared to deal with things early on. I understand that these problems are NOT my fault, I cannot control anyone, but I am in control of what happens in my own life and I have the option to walk away.
I'd rather that be the last step. We have pretty good communication skills (I'm big on using "I" statements) and we haven't had a chance to discuss this issue yet. In all fairness, I have to at least make an attempt. I guess I came here for some ideas and I have found a few, but my visit also reaffirmed that the outlook could very well be grim.
I think I see myself in what someone posted elsewhere in the forum (in an unrelated post): "Going back for a second helping at the All You Can Stand Buffet". I get strength from that because it allows me to laugh at myself, so I'm keeping it!
