Ann, yes you are absolutely right the whole experience drained me! It felt like a full time job making the calls, gathering everyone together, sneaking around him so he didn't find out what we were planning and get angry. I started thinking my gosh I'm mentally exhausted from this and I haven't even started my new job yet!
Allforcnm, thank you so much for the positive feedback! It felt like such a failure when the session didn't come together as we had all planned, it's nice to hear positive statements. I've been confiding in and relying more on my close friends which has really helped me to not feel so alone. Planning for my new job and setting my own personal goals has been a really good focus for me. It's also a good reminder that while I want my husband to be a better him I also can be a better me.