FIreS---I think I know exactly what your saying. It's not that you don't love yoru Reovering Husband or DD it jsut feels like at times it's JUST TO MUCH WORK. I Know that feeling. I'm going to have to start Al-anon up again due to my situation. Fro instance right now I feel very Angry--at my Fiance. He put himself into detox...with that said I'm full of resentment, not becuase he's in rehab,,..but all the crap prior to it. ALSO with this said...I'm hoping it helps...If I started Al-non way back when....I would'NT be dealign with these resentments differently I CAN promise you that. I do however understand. I have 23 years of sobriety and I have to continually keep in mind the things I learned. IT takes ALOT OF EFFORT in both AA and Al-Anon. the bottom line is......your hubby would'nt be tolerable if he Picked up again,...Not sure aobut yoru DD but you mentioned her. As much as I get tired and force--YES tha'ts the word force myself to do and think AA and Al-Anon I have to keep in mind with out the teaching I'vel leanred from both...where wouldI be today. Probably in a half way house. the past few days I keep thinking do I even want to stay with my fiance...and I KNWO I have to STAY in the day or I'll go nuts all day...I've had stinking thinking all morning,...but YOU my friend have just helped me. YOu see tha'ts how this all works. We get what we need. By me wirtting to youm,,I've relized I have to live my life as what was taught me Or I'll pick up or die with resentlments. It's alot of work and agian I understnad it ALL of what yoru saying...but think about the srenity you have today compared to what you may not have had with the alcolic was drinking. I knwo. I know...there was a certain Peace there too. I knwo for m. my last live in...I knew My weekends were to myself becuase he was always drunk and asleep. this oen is different he's always awake and get son my nerves. but those day wiht the first live-in...I was lonely,..going out alone. visiting famiy alone. entil finally I ended it after 12 years and he was still active. I did'tn have serenity then...I was a mess...Today I feel so much better about myself and have much more strength to do what I have to do When the time comes with my fiance. So with this ALL Said "ODAT" GF. Many Hugs. Erod