Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much for posting this! I NEEDED to see this and I'm going to print off a copy for my mother in-law. SR has a wealth of great info but I think when I initially started posting here I was already overwhelmed with my circumstances that I couldn't absorb everything that this site had to offer. Slowly I'm beginning to see that no my situation is not so different from others here and no my AH is not unique. The circumstances and details may vary but it all comes down the same stuff (oversleeping for work, needing money for car repairs, getting bailed out of jail, money for a lawyer, losing temper with guests in house). It doesn't matter if it's a son, daughter, husband or sister I'm realizing there are things that we all (the family members) can do to not feed into this any more. We may not be able to get him out of addiction but we can get ourselves out and we can refuse to spend another dime on it! I have a feeling I'm gonna need to refer back to this post again and again to remind myself that this isn't how I want to live. Thank you so much for posting this!