Damaged2-
I also had done a lot of work on my own stuff before meeting, loving and getting into a marriage with a problem drinker.
My therapist (who is in recovery herself) reminded me not to long ago of why would I have known? I grew up with a lot of rage and a lot of codependency but no alcohol abuse.
It also helped me to realize and truly feel what English Garden wrote about. I have come to realize as painful as it was for me to have to look at, feel etc it has been the piece that has helped me to reach that new level of healing. It force my hands but I don't know if I would have gotten here on my own.
I don't like the lessons, but the learning has been incredible.