Hi brit. I agree with the others - it's normal & common. It's also normal to want to drink to quiet the memories down - I did it for years. I'd begin to feel good & sabotage myself by reliving episodes from the past. Drunken Hevyn was a mess - but she's gone now & she's not coming back. Try to remember it wasn't the 'real' brit who did foolish & dangerous things. Give yourself a break.