Welcome.
What I learned about the mechanism of denial is that it happens automatically in the brain and the individual is completely unaware that it is kicking in. If a person comes from a background of trauma, then the unconscious, automatic blocking out of a reality that is too difficult to bear or to acknowledge can continue into adulthood.
I had to forgive myself for a lot of automatic denial when I worked on myself in therapy, because otherwise my self-esteem would have remained in the gutter as I struggled with shame for what seemed incredibly bad choices in my past (like marrying a man who I am sure most anyone could have pegged as alcoholic within a month.)
So now your brain has revealed to you the truth of your husband's disorder and the state of your marriage. I think that means your higher power, your inner wisdom, believes that you have all the inner resources you need to deal with this. I would see the new awareness as positive.