Welcome Damaged.
Lots of support to be found here.
I'm not sure you have missed anything.
18 years of marriage, you certainly have had a front row seat, and now you arrive at today.
I was with an alcoholic for 5 years. Swept lots and lots of unacceptable under the carpet.
Somehow I always found a way to rationalize his having "too much fun" or everyone gets tired and crabby, or people fall down and injure themselves everyday. His DUI, well it could happen to "anybody", his loss of a high paying job, because of the DUI, well it was the United States Coast Guard that revoked his licensing, and on and on........
yeah, i was in denial.
All I can suggest, Educate yourself about addiction, best to know all the facts about this disease, it will make facing everything head on alot easier.