FWIW, wanting to blend in so people don't look at you and then wanting to intimidate them are two competing goals.
I'd agree that to be intimidating is to cause fear. IDK... I guess whether or not you're intimidating IRL depends partly on your behavior and partly on the perspective of the others. I'm just pointing that out because, personally, I don't automatically find people who have expensive stuff intimidating nor do I find all people who are ***** intimidating (some are just plain old unpleasant to be around). Unless you mean that you actively go out and try to compel or deter people from doing certain things by threatening them...
And I'm not asking that any of this be something that's aired here.
Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself; you're doing some really heavy lifting in your work with your T.