Mushroom, do not give up. Al anon is so worth it. When I finally got up the courage to go to my first meeting, there was only one other person there. What if she had had a dentist appointment that day? I can only hope that I would have had the courage to try again, but I fear I would have felt so let down, I might never have gone back. I really hope you don't let this happen to you. I can only tell you that my short journey in al anon (less than a year) has already led me to a path where I can see peace as a real possibility in my life. And give yourself time. I went to al anon expecting answers, or maybe a list of tips for fixing my alcoholic! I didn't get that. I came back for the 6 meetings that they suggested, and stayed for myself, not for him. Good luck to you.