Thanks all. I was perfectly well aware that her so-called diagnosis was either likely to be made up completely, or given on the basis of false information, but I was interested to hear others take on it, to be sure I wasn't missing something.
She is still playing the hurt victim and seems to be under the impression that she can dictate to me that I should move out of the family home, leaving the kids with her.
The kids are now 14 and 17 so in a few years time they will be on their way, however in the mean time I am not going to desert them. Even though she has moderated her drinking since the bust-up, I know it will return - it always does. When it does, there will be times when she will be passed out drunk at night and not able to deal with any issues that may arise for the kids as a responsible adult. This is the point that keeps me from moving out.
There is a chance that I can move into the flat next door, which has become available to buy. I would be prepared to go that far, as I would still feel close enough at hand should the kids need me. Unfortunately, I cant just do this without her agreement as the house is in joint names and it would need her agreement to extend the mortgage to buy it. She though, is not having any of this - 'I dont want you anywhere near', she says.
So basically, its up to her. If she doesn't agree to that I'll have to declare my concerns to the court. In a weird way, I feel like this would be betraying her - I guess its after years of covering up for her. However, I don't feel I have any choice.