Newand scared
I'm not what i had hoped i would be, by this time in my life. I have days I am so scared, the thought of being called on paralizing me,.. I keep my head down, I feel myself shaking, I'm thinking I shouldn't be here,.. and i'm thinkin' i should head out the door... Not becouse I think i am better, or worse,.. but becouse i feel the shell breaking... I feel my heart aching and the pain, the shame, the guilt, the failure,...
I feel,..
I feel,.. idk?
I know I don't wanna get numb anymore.
but i can't control my feelings,
People shouldn't see me like this, they'd lock me up and throw away the key,..
I'm new. I'm scared. I don't sleep very well.