Sorry you are depressed right now Raider. Glad to see you are posting about it. It took me quite a while to get the depression to lift, but it does. The first part of this leaves you stuck between not having your go to feel good (even if it's only for awhile) and not yet having the abilities of a normal functioning brain. It's to be expected. I felt lost for many months. Support from this site was how I made it through that.
PS be careful with the stimulants right now. I ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. Caffeine intoxication is a bad place to be. Someone on here suggested Celestial Season's Tension Tamer.