A friend of mine once said she felt she was on a Roller Coaster with her active/sober alcoholic husband. When actively drinking it was "I love you please don't leave me"; when sober it was "the relationship just isn't working for him". From an outsiders perspective she just didn't see the writing on the wall. When drinking "he needed her support....quite literally he needed her to take care of everything so he could drink. When sober...she was just an added weight around his neck he didn't feel like dealing with. They've been married for about 20 years now and she is still on the roller coaster. She is emotionally and physically exhausted dealing with 4 children, a job, a house, a mortgage, and every day life on her own while he is doing exactly what he wants.