Welcome back, Kat, glad you are sticking with us. Marymacsmith - you can do this. Take a page out of gypsyheart's book and make sure you have lots of gifts to yourself today - things that support what you DO want to do, not just focusing on what you don't want to do. I know for me I get into trouble when I only focus on what I'm denying myself - I need to be cognizant of what else I CAN do instead.
One of my kids just gave me this: a colored pencil picture she drew of a lamp turned on in the middle of blackness. On the lampshade she wrote: Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. -- Albus Dumbledore. She is a keeper.