Thanks everyone! My main struggle currently is the emotional ups and downs. I get to about a week of doing the "right" things to keep me from drinking then I get very irritable. Next, I feel like a bad daughter, sister, friend, etc and to get those thoughts to stop, I drink. All my family really wants is my happiness. I've mentioned taking a break or stopping drinking to a few friends who drink but I usually get "Let me know how that goes" in response when i secretly hope they will say "Hell yes! Let's do it!" Now, I've just made the decision to reach out on SR because you all are on the path I seek. I don't want the madness anymore