Hi not sure if I should be posting this here or what not? anyways.. New here been lurking for a few days on here...
Aaron, 25, I have been drinking heavily for 4 years, and drinking for 7 I should have never touched that first beer, I have an addictive personality, so that and alcohol do not mix, It all started out like a social thing one or two beers and I was done no worries as sport was my life… but as time went on.. I stopped sports I use to love as booze got addictive with it being a thing to do on every weekend and thats when It got out of control. I went from 2-3 times a week to everyday morning till bed, this horrible drug thats “legal” destroys everything in everyway, my goals, looks, mind. Everything. I would normally drink beer but would drink anything I could get my hands on.. and when I couldn't afford my favourite drop of rum, vodka or bourbon, I would go all out on 4-5 litre boxes of port tawny wine which are around 60 standard drinks I would drink them in a couple of days. Very cheap stuff, I knew it was bad when I would carry spares in the car, hide boxes of port in my room, and go for walks with it in a sports drink bottles when I was on the way to a pub or whatever I was doing drunk, everywhere I went I needed it, 30 mins without it I would get anxious and feel horrible, I would even steal my friends stuff to sell just to get it if I ran out. I have gotten stupid tattoos drunk, driven drunk so many times I should be locked up. I have broken many bones, hit by a car twice, been in many fights, banned from clubs, committed a home invasion with another alcoholic just to get money for it, stolen from liquor stores, and somehow out of all this I only have the 1 D.U.I which I blew at .298 BAC, which left me 2 years on probation and 2 years with no licence to make my life even worse. The **** you do when your drunk it’s such a waste, and a shame, at the time I didn’t care, I just wanted to be drunk. I tried quitting time after time when I was drunk saying "never again" “last time…today” time went on I would continue to drink up to 12-15 beers a day or 2-4 litres of cask wine. The alcohol wasn't even making me feel the buzz anymore, so I found other substances "heroin, pot, speed etc. " that made things even worse… Don't know how I'm alive to be honest. I hit my lowest point when I woke up in a junkies house sipping wine at 6am from how bad withdrawel was. At this stage I almost gave up on life, But somehow after feeling so sick for so long.. I slowed down for a bit by getting back into fitness but still drinking everyday which didn’t help fitness wise, mainly just wine and beer still, stayed off the harder drugs, alcohol got me off that stuff, I had the odd day off here and there, but would sleep, binge eat etc. Again… after trying to ween myself off it, I was struggling with that and also needed money all the time to fuel my addiction so I sold most items I ever owned including my gym equipment which was worth a bit. I got so much cash I spent 90 percent of it on alcohol, So this was most of last year 2013 and I start noticing the hangovers were getting bad, like 2 day hangovers… and I could not function. I knew I had to make a change as I found out I was having my first child to my lovely partner who by the way as had to put up with all this ********, and my father offered me work in his business which was an upper for me since I had been unemployed for a long time, due to alcohol/drugs of course. I was still drinking though pretty much everyday, but last week I woke up feeling dreadful and sick. I walked to the fridge to bite the hair on the dog, with a little bit of rum left, I picked it up and thought… "No No No"… this has to stop. I tipped it out, removed alcohol from the house. I am now finally into day 6 of being sober, first time in Years, I feel terrible but good at the same time. I’m still nervous, anxious, can’t sleep, sweats, mild depression & mood swings. I’m eating alot, but the drink is still on my mine all day, I hate it. Life without alcohol will be very hard and everyone I know pretty much drinks like my uncles who are all alcoholics, and they drink A LOT. One of my uncles drinks up to 30-40 beers a day, and that’s no joke. I don’t know how he’s not dead, must be the genes keeping us alive, I know if I pick up the drink again I will have to go through it all again Sorry for this long post, I wish all in sober recovery all the best. Alcohol is such a demon! I want my life back.
