I hope my post is on topic for this thread.
I just really need to share, lol.
I realized something after your last post kindeyes.
I've had really good boundaries for many years. I extended my boundaries a few months ago when my new born grandchild was going to be homeless. Against my better judgment I let my son and his girlfriend move in with her 8 year old and my new grandson. It turned out to be a disaster as usual. He drank and she ran off to another state.
When I have to make hard decisions it robs me of my peace. If the actions are all his I do pretty well. After 3 attempts to detox him in the hospital I had to put him out in the cold. I gave him blankets and plastic to wrap up in, but he was too drunk to figure out how to stay warm. He didn't eat for 3 days. He ended up off the mountain and at a graveyard.
This all happened last week. It ended really well. He put himself in the hospital suicidal and they got him in a 90 day program 2 months ahead of everyone on the waiting list. He became willing to get help after being cold and hungry and homeless. It's the first time that no one else rescued him.
I did not know if he would sink or swim. That was so hard. Intellectually I know it was his actions that caused it, but emotionally it was me who put him out there to suffer.