FriendlyGuy

Good evening everyone.

I come to you at my lowest point and seek honest advice.

I have been with Sarah for a year now and we have fallen deeply in love.We are both in our mid 20s and have started to talk about settling down and starting a life together. Things have mostly been great but there have been some problems. She comes from a really painful and frightening childhood. The father was an abuser and her small community a very unhealthy environment.

My background has been a lot more stable. We met at work at the lowest point in her adult life. A lot was going wrong for her and she was completely depressed. She drank every night after work to escape reality and barely ate food. She would grind her teeth all night and wake up with sore jaws.

We spent a lot of time together while working and fell in love with each other. Spent weekends away at cottages and exploring new places.

I am a kind and gentle human being and have opened up my heart to help, comfort and support her as much as i possibly can. I love her deeply and suffer her pain with her. She has acknowledged this on a daily basis and has said things about how I am the only one truly in her corner and always on her side, which is the complete truth. Told me because of me she finally wants more for herself in life.

I made it my mission to stop the nightmares and the grinding of her teeth and took it as a sign of the progress we were making together. Often just the gentle touch of my hand on her cheek and a loving kiss on her forehead would stop it for a moment.

We come from different provinces and eventually she had to return home for a few months to take care of an ailing family member(who usurps sarahs hard earned money). There is no work in the area and so I was only able to visit for 2 months before having to return.

When she left my home we were eating 3 full meals a day, she barely ground her teeth at night, was genuinely stress free and finally happy. You could see it in her mood and hear it from her own words. We were both deeply in love.

When I left her home she was drinking more often, grinding her teeth, eating very little and often upset/depressed.

Now due to family reasons we have spent over a month apart because she has been guilted and manipulated into waiting to see if the relative needed a surgery.

They didnt.

Two weeks ago we had a deep conversation on the phone and she talked about how home life was 'literally killing her', because there is nothing but betrayal, deception and alcohol in that community. We both agreed it was a life together we wanted and went on to talk about all the amazing moments we have ahead of us when she moves to my home. She was so excited and was determined to book a flight the next morning. pack up all her stuff and come.

the next day when she announced to her family... In her own words, she was manipulated and threatened by the relatives into staying in limbo to wait and help. she couldnt come....

When I awoke to find the news i was completely devastated. After all the beautiful things we had talked about together. She is stuck for maybe months in an environment which is killing her...

We both wept alone, all day. It was a very low moment to experience.

A few nights later she went to the bar depressed and miserable and drank herself into a stupor. She took someone home and they had sex. She does not remember much, but enough to be sure.

Today we learn the surgery is cancelled and she can finally leave but before booking to leave she called me and had to confess what happened. She said she could not keep this from me and start a life with me. I had to know and to be willing to work through her mistake for her to book a flight.

The truth is I would never have known if she did not speak up to me. She has been miserable these past 2 week trying to maintain the illusion that there was nothing wrong and listening to the wonderful things I've been saying. She considers it the worst mistake of her life. She has pleaded for my forgiveness and wants to come to my home and live faithfully with me. She acknowledges she has a drinking problem and that it has to change.

I am completely devastated and caught off guard. I trusted her completely and never doubted her once. But her alcohol abuse has done such terrible damage to us now.

I wanted this life together so badly but now this has happened. I feel sick to my stomach when I think of her being pleasured by another man.

I dont know what to do.. I love this woman deeply but am so hurt.

Is it possible for someone to genuinely make a mistake or am i just kidding myself? I dont want to give up on this love but I do not want to become jelous and unsure.


Sorry for the length.