welcome...
a couple things arise for me;
1 - the lying. the relapse. the not being forthright about it.... it's not your husband, it's the addiction. I suppose that sounds like an excuse - but I don't mean it to be. I simply mean that if he can pull out of this and get back to a commitment of sobriety... ACTIVE sobriety.... then your husband is most likely the trustworthy man you long for him to be. He's an alcoholic... and one way or another he has wandered away from maintaining his sobriety and his spiritual wholeness through action and focused effort that his addiction was able to take over again. It's not him purposely or vindictively failing you. It's not about YOU at all - though I know how much it must hurt and scare you.
2 - I'm glad you reached out here and I hope you will take steps to get the support that you need as well. This is a tough time for you and ensuring you're not enabling is important. But so is understanding how best to care for yourself and communciate your feelings and expectations with him and shield yourself from further wounding.
3 - In my AA home group, there are a couple of guys who had similar stories... 5-6 years and suddenly, inexplicably; relapse. Worse than ever. Each of them are now more than 10 years sober again and deeply committed to maintaining it. Their falls cemented their resolve and brought about learning and growth for them. They learned what had happened and how they had gotten spiritually complacent and over time allowed the bedrock of their sobriety to be worn away to a slip. It is very likely that your husband can have that outcome from this if he is willing and motivated to.
I wish you strength, peace, calm and support as you navigate this difficult time.
