What an amazing post, very honest and brave. It's helped me reading it. It's my birthday today and I want to be drink free...you have just reminded me why this is such an important goal. Am new here too. have just been on a 4 day 'intuitive recovery' course. Perhaps you might want to google it and see if there are any courses near you, it's an alternative for people who don't resonate with AA.
Anyway, well done..you've got a lot to be a non drinker for x