It could be worse.
Yesterday I went and had my first month of the Vivitrol injection. Today I got a call from my doctor that my thyroid levels are way off. Everything else is normal.
I should be happy that things are this good. But now all I can think is that no wonder I haven't lost weight. I am trying. But because of how I treated my body for months and months, now I am overweight and uncomfortable..and my thyroid is off...which will make it hard to lose.
Between the addictions doctor (who gives the injection), a substance abuse therapist, a psychologist (that I will see in an hour) and a holistic doctor (that I will see tonight), I am overwhelmed. Mad at myself and exhausted from running around to doctors.
Today is day 13. I am happy about that.
But just feeling like what the heck am I supposed to do NOW? I feel so empty and angry at myself. I keep trying to stay positive..and it works mostly.
But if I am to remain fat and gross because I screwed up my entire metabolism, then I don't know how I will cope with that.
Sorry to be so complainey and annoying. I'm just so frustrated. And who knows what my psychiatist will want to put me on..and if it makes me GAIN weight. Ugh.
What do I do now????
I feel lost. And sad. And like I might cry. But I am at work.
:(