JennyK

about my husband starting to drink again and then being sick and watching what he does (or does not) do all day...I felt the need to ask him to be totally honest with me if he drinks again.

I can't stand the feeling of unease that I get when he leaves the house. I KNOW that he has told me he is committed to being sober and that he will not drink again...still, history SHOWS me that he always does.

So, I said "You have to tell me. Then I will stop wondering all the time. If I know you will be honest with me and we can work it out, then you have to promise to tell me".

And he showed me some journaling that he had done....a plan for if he drank again. It had his counselor's emergency number and my father's numbers on it. It outlined the steps he would take from the moment he made the decision to drink again to how he would tell me. Then at the bottom, it was underlined..."JUST DON'T DO IT".

I was shocked and touched and felt so much better. As invested as I am in his recovery (for the sake of my family as I know and love it), I am even more shocked by how committed HE is to it.

I have to stop this insane focus on his every move. I have to let him do it himself, his way. I have to trust that he can control his stuff without me reminding him to. It is easy to focus on me when I don't like what he is doing. It is harder to keep the focus on me when I am overjoyed with his actions.

Jenny