Pia

I worked hard at my marriage, did everything I could to put family first.
I use to think the only way out of this marriage was my death from stress and anxiety.
I separated with AH and told him to leave and now I'm the one suffering it feels. I realized my unemployment ends in 2 months , the house is in my name and of course my vehicle. I am really emotionally drained today. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I wanted to have a job before we separated. I wanted all my ducks in a row. But something in me snapped, I couldn't take anymore and I told him to go. We have had no contact since he left .
My AH drinks does drugs lives a bachelors life and all his money is to himself. We have no kids and banks and finances are separated.
Why does he have a job and yet I can't get one. He's partying it up and i'm trying to survive.
I have been trying everything to find a new job. I have attended training, apply left and right even to super low paying jobs. My experience is in accounting and software and I'm applying at Target and Wal-Mart and getting rejected. I just want to work even if it's a low paying job. I feel so worthless. I try to do everything by the book and get annoyed how I am scared to be late by 1 minute to work im always 15 minutes early. I just needed to vent.
I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong section I can't do anything right.