Originally Posted by
mireille3rd 
Once again I was not able to stay sober and have been off in la la land for the last four months. I have seriously tried the sponsor thing many times. I had two that I stopped seeing because I went out and drank but I had three who just disappeared on me! And early on in meeting with them, like maybe met one or twice and then I never hear from them again and it just happened again!! I'm so confused and my trust is out the window. I want to stay sober soooooo bad but feel I must not be worth it. I'm so hurt and angry! I prayed so hard to get one and got one and now she has not returned my call.........
Well, for the first two you bear responsibility as you stopped seeing them. As for the other three, have you tried contacting them? Did they disappear while you were "off in la la land?" Maybe that's why they stopped sponsoring you. Just a guess.
Maybe try and contact the first two and do a quick Step 9. (The Steps needn't be worked in order, when some amendments are obvious. When it comes time to do the Steps in order, keep them in mind and perhaps speak with them again, if you can and if it's needed.)
As for the one you have now who won't return your call.... perhaps she can't right now for who knows what reason. Maybe she's in some crisis of her own right now and can't return your call just yet. Again, more guessing by me. But maybe wait a while.
Go to a meeting ASAP. Perhaps bring this up there.
BUT: you ARE worth it! Everyone is! You'll get through this!