Sorry to hear about what you are going through lav. I almost lost everything as an active alcoholic, wife, family, job, you name it. The sad thing is that most of us don't get better until WE want to. No one can talk us into it. I knew that saving my family was part of why I wanted to get sober but I had to do it for me. My wife was in your shoes and looking to leave. She tried everything. In the end you have to take care of yourself and your family and hope she gets the help she needs. You can't fix her. When she reaches out with honesty be supportive.
I wish you luck. I don't know exactly how it feels to be on the "other side" of addiction but I know it is not easy, especially when it is someone you love.