Originally Posted by
Turninganewleaf 
It just seems like sobriety, at times, is impossible. I have a little voice that says, "you know you are going to drink so just get it out of the way & drink".
You're not alone in this. Even after years of sobriety, sometimes this thought still comes to me. But it's not true. I don't have to drink again if I don't want to. But like I said before, those obsessive, daily, attacking thoughts of drinking only subsided when I quit drinking. It's sort of a paradox. If drinking is still an option for me in the back of my mind somewhere, if I still feel like it's ok to drink if . . . ., or like Threshold said, if I want to still be able to get wasted sometimes, then I'm going to obsess about drinking. And my life, even if not drinking, will revolve around fighting those thoughts. It was only until I gave up absolutely that those thoughts left me and I could be happy in sobriety. This is why drinking moderately or occasionally doesn't work for me, and why most people on here and in recovery circles recommend total abstinence. People who don't have a problem with alcohol do not spend their sober time obsessing about alcohol. This is what makes me an alcoholic.