Most alcoholics go out drinking when we try and take control of our own recovery. If we do what we always did (and it's not working) we get what we always got. Would working an active program of recovery work for you do you think? Would you consider reaching out to a counselor, doctor or a program of recovery like AA to see what they have to offer? Sitting by myself in my home or the bar and debating whether to drink or not was always a losing proposition for me. You have the desire to be sober or you wouldn't have posted - that's huge - so think about what the next step is.
