I get it, Change.
Sobriety never worked for me because I didn't try and (more importantly) I didn't want to make it work. Yeah I might have wanted to stop for a week or two but didn't have a plan beyond white-knuckling that week and lurking around here. I talked a big game but never accessed any of the gazillion tools at my disposal. Giving it a-go this time since, like you, I'm so tired of it all. This time I have every, single intention of stopping. Your post helps remind me how utterly exhausting this merry-go-round is.
Thank you.