Hes’ over there on that side of street living the life he chooses. He has a lifelong history of drug/alcohol abuse, his addiction to him has become like a nature part of his life, just like breathing. He is facing jail time due to his choices, if he’s lucky he’ll detox in jail and count down the days until he can use again. And continue on with his life in the custom to which he is most familiar.
Then there you are on your side of the street, frozen in time just waiting to see what will happen across the street.
Part of the grieving process is bargaining. We tell ourselves all kinds of things in order to stop our pain. We think things like:
He’s going to sober up and realize what he lost, than he’ll want me back.
He’s going to sober up and realize how good I was in his life, than he’ll want me back.
He has no one except me so when he sobers up, he’s going to want me back.
There is always a theme to our thinking where we get that fairytale ending……..but that is never reality.
The reality is you fell in love with an active alcoholic/addict and you have no idea who he is sober because he hasn’t been the entire time you have been together. See, alcohol soaks the brain so on those rare days when they have not consumed any, they are still very much operating with a alcohol soaked brain and the addiction is still driving their train.
So I think you nailed it when you said, YOUR expectations are high………………..
How about putting those expectations on you and your life! What’s the next chapter in your life going to look like?