Thanks for all the encouragement, guys! It is day three today. Did not drink last night and am sober today so far. Did help my daughter with her homework. Read the big book and prayed for willingness to go to the beginner's meeting tonight that I found in my area. Told the wife I have a 6:00pm appointment at my client site and will be gone for about an hour. Afraid to tell her that I am going to a meeting since don't want to dash her hopes if I drink again (stupid reason). Not going to think about getting honest about telling her I am going to a meeting on Friday, since I am going to concentrate on making it to today's meeting only and let tomorrow's meeting take care of itself tomorrow. I am feeling better physically than I did yesterday, but am getting the usual "day three" anxiety over damage done to my career and my underemployment situation. I've made it to day three a couple of times recently, but the little voices start about all the worries I have and I go out. Maybe not this time since I've got this board and some willingness to go to a meeting. That is different than in the past and I am going to hang onto that thought. I have been "self employed" in the computer consulting field for about eight years and actually made a good income until last year. I now make less than half of what I did then subsisting on a single client. Last year I decided to get a job and quit the independent stuff and actually did this for over two months in the summer with a pretty large consulting firm. Had to quit because this was a really stressful consulting job with forced billing of eight hours a day and mostly because I was still drinking every night after work. I did hate that job, though. Computer consulting with extremely demanding clients wtih a hangover is impossible to keep up for very long for me. Luckily I still have this one client and just did a server project for them, so I tell myself I still am keeping the skills up. I also somehow managed to pass the last exam needed to update my primary certification last month (while drinking yet). Makes me think what I could accomplish if I wasn't drinking! I do need to find a job though. I still make payroll every month, but dread the month when I will not quite make it. I know that will happen if I keep drinking. Does anyone else have this problem of every time they get sober, they start to want to repair the economic damage and it makes them go out? Gonna drag myself to that meeting tonight no matter what the fears re this (God willing, please God be willing). Thanks for being there you guys!