Originally Posted by
SoberMarathon 
Here's my thought of the day. I have been reading posts from various threads and it seems there are a number of folks out there who have relapsed after years of sobriety, sometimes even 5-10. It is slightly daunting to read these stories about people who clearly held it together for very extended periods and eventually relapsed. I know this shouldn't discourage any of us (hey I'm the king of relapse in this thread), but even having 90 days or 180 days or more doesn't necessarily mean that we are ever really in the clear.
Thoughts? Just scares me a bit, that's all.
SM,
Over the past 4 months there have been 3 times that I would describe as "crucial" in my quest for lasting sobriety. The last of these was about one month in when realizing that, try as I might, I would never be able to cram sobriety into a destination. It would never be “done”. It was always going to be a journey….for life. This realization pissed me off to no end at the time.
I consulted you all.
Sober, it was you that provided me the answers/support that got me over the hump. Your response was so meaningful and instrumental that I saved it. I stil find it useful. Anyway, here's what you said:
it sucks that sobriety is going to be a life-long mission from now until the end. Call it a battle, a struggle, a disease, whatever you want...it's always going to be there in some way, shape, or form.
Nonetheless - you're fighting a good battle, a battle worth fighting for, one with purpose, and one that has a positive goal in mind.
When I first and finally admitted to myself I was a serious drunk and needed to do something about it - check my first posts last December when I joined SR - I had a huge sense of relief. For me it wasn't that a battle was beginning, it was that one was ending. One that had gone on far too long. Trying to control my drinking, to moderate, to fit-in, to be like everyone else: that battle was finally over. I had this massive sense of relief knowing that I didn't have to do that anymore, that I wouldn't have to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or wondering what the hell I did last night anymore. Ending that 'battle' was the greatest decision I could of made and, although this year has been a different kind of 'battle' as I learn how to make sobriety be a permanent aspect of my life, I know I'm going to win this one. The alternative was a losing battle I never had a chance at winning.
So, my thoughts...
You're right; we're never in the clear.
And, again, you're right; the battle that constitutes us remaining in the clear beats the drinking battle.
You made me realize something so simple: I was just trading battles. And the new one was far better than the old one. Cool, right?
Comment on your slips: SM, you may have slipped a few times. But you keep coming back and working awfully hard EVERY time. I think you are just steps from the finish line. Whether you have no more slips, one more slip, or however many, I have a feeling that very soon, your just gonna throw your hands up and say "done, no more" and walk away forever. I really believe that.