You did the right thing. She has to come to recovery herself if she does come. It is good for an addict to hear how it affects those in their lives.
Let Go and Let God!
Interesting, I never thought of Jesus not being afraid of conflict but that is so true. I guess I am no longer afraid to address conflict because I know I am doing so with a clear conscience. I think it is all in the reasons you do so and how you go about doing it. Yelling and screaming accomplish nothing, one is so busy thinking about what they will say next that they are not LISTENING at all.
I love the idea of a letter, it forces the other person to read it all, not interrput, and ponder over the contents.
Good for you. I hope you see you have done all you can, the rest is up to her.