Hi James,
You're not the only one it has taken many of us trying to do it on our own to realize that we can't do it on our own!!! I used to think I could just stop at anytime and I would be fine! But before I knew it I was sucked back in!!
This time in treatment I was asked what I was going to do different! My response was to truly admit I was powerless and to get a sponsor and go to meetings as well as read all the literature I could find!
I have done all that I said I would do so far and it's working! I do see my life slowly getting better and it will continue to get better if I keep doing what I said I would! I know soon as I stop the bad will come back and I know I don't want that life anymore!
Hold your head up and just take it one day at a time and if need be go to one hour at a time! We're all here for you if you need to talk!
DBJ