thanks all.
a little support goes a long way. i feel a little less desperate knowing that each hour is bringing me closer back to my sober life. which i do honestly enjoy a lot more than drinking.
i need to add more tools, although i've made drastic positive changes in my life. i'd like to find a good addiction counselor in my area. i tried working with one in the past, but did not feel that i've made the right connection with that person.
i'll keep looking....
we can all be cured from addiction. the key is inside of us, just need to find a way to permanently unlock the door to sobriety.