Originally Posted by
Florence 
I know it's controversial, but what motivation to you have disclosing the affair? My thought is that there was a lot of lying inside an alcoholic, broken marriage, and considering it's done and over, there's no catalyst to confess it. If down the road the subject came up organically, I would consider discussing it. Until then, it just seems as if you'd unburden your conscience at the expense of everything you profess to work towards.
Focus on yourself and your life. Why did you end up here? What is in you that draws you to unavailable men? What do you need to feel good in your life with your decisions? These are the things I'd be working on if I were you, and my boundaries would revolve around this.
I don't know what my motivation to disclosing the emotional affair is. Maybe to relieve my guilt (which isn't a good reason) or else it is to clear the air and lay it all on the table. It won't be disclosed unless we actually have our marriage work and then head to counselling. That will take a couple of months to figure it out I think as he has so many other things to focus on first. I have to see how he is and how I feel once he is back in my life.
I do need to focus on me. I haven't been happy for a long time in my marriage - lots of reasons and his alcoholism is a pretty big part of that. I have never been drawn to unavailable men before. I have never been attracted to anyone else before or ever done anything like that. I guess I was in a vulnerable state of mind which made it easy for me to fall for him.