Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
The Big Book of AA explains that baffling behavior this way:
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
I have had several relapses due to this very thing. It comes on so suddenly and is so strong, like a lightning bolt that strikes close by...and as bad as I dont want to drink...I still do. I can be on top of the world one second and loving my sobriety and then...BAMM!!!!..next second, I'am in "Drink Mode".
I can choose not to all the day...but "it" always wins when I'am in this condition.
Dave
