Hello Jupiter,
I understand how you're feeling. When I look back on my years of drinking, I realize that my perception of everything was completely distorted. All of the people who loved me sent me signals for years, but I couldn't see through the fog. The fog just got thicker and thicker and I finally had a breakdown. In retrospect, that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wasn't suicidal by any stretch, but emotionally I went flat-line.
I met a great AA sponsor who inspired me more than lectured me. He led by example which inspired me greatly. I hope you'll go to that AA meeting and feel inspired.
None of it will be easy, but better to get started a day at a time. You're the most important person in the world to your wife and daughter. Good luck and there are other wonderful forums at SR for you to visit which I'm sure you already know about. Best wishes and congratulations on making it so far.
Val