OOO boy do I agree. Mine is the exact same. The lies. I would much rather have him say to me I messed up, I drank a drink than lie to me about it. There is nothing I hate more in life than being lied to by anyone. I don't lie and I don't think it is appropriate to be lied to, especially by my spouse, the person who should protect me and look out for me most in the world.
I think I Compulsively Reach too. Things are reaching some finality in my life right now so I think that also triggers codependency for me. No matter what happens, apart or together I will always worry what will happen to him. He is the father of my children and while I don't feel passionate love for him I will always care.
Thanks for the post, it made me think.