Attraction with my STBXAH was such a mind****. While I can see why I was attracted to him once, the total loss of respect and his lack of respect for me turns my stomach. I can objectively look at him and have a pretty good idea if he's on or off the wagon (he will be clear-eyed and he loses the yellow/ruddy effects on his skin) but his abusive, manipulative behavior, and his inability to get his life in order despite having every available tool in the world at his fingertips, are so disappointing that my attraction to him is zero. He's been trying to pretend that he's been sober for the last nine months, and the constant lying makes me want to turn my back on him. I can't because we're supposed to be coparenting. So.
As far as the bloat goes, a lot of people swap addictions, one for another. If he's swapping between food, booze, and gambling, you have enough of an idea where he's at mentally and emotionally to maintain your distance. This is not a well man. No wonder you are turned off by his appearance and behavior.
It's healthy NOT to be attracted to dysfunction. In our search for compassion, us codies forget that red flags aren't party favors.